Because you left.

Dedicated to Arun, because you asked for it….
“Don’t you want to come out and play?” said the scrawny one. “No.” was his emphatic reply. “But why?” said scrawny adamantly. “It’s nothing. You go I don’t want to.” was all he said. “It’s her again, I know it.” Scrawny was sneering. “Get lost!” with that final note of anger he chased away a cackling scrawny…..
It was always her…
No matter where he went, she was there waiting naively for him. That heat of awkward embarrassment would eventually creep up on him, as soon as he would set his eyes on her. What did she want? He never gathered the courage to ask her this. The only plausible solution to this situation that his fleeting thoughts would offer was to run, just run like the wind. But she was there too, lingering like a tendril of memory, even as his feet pounded the earth trying to put some amount of physical distance between them. She was the one who initiated this, having moved in next to his neighborhood. He briefly remembered how he first met her. Playing along with his friends he felt someone watching his back. Turning to find out the inevitable, his breath was lost in her hazel eyes. Then he ran and he always did that ever since.
“So you finally decided to join us?” said the tall one. He nodded meekly and hoped his friends would let him play along. “Come on, then” said the wise one and without a hint of spite he melted into the group. His eyes constantly sought the familiar hazel angel, watching and waiting like always. She was not there, he realized awash with unexpected disappointment. “Your little friend moved out yesterday” remarked the wise one when he queried about her. “You, ok” said wise looking at his crestfallen face. “Do you like ice cream? Then come with me” without waiting for an answer he dragged him away. “I know how you must feel right now, but don’t be so distressed about it” the wise one plied with a friendly arm offering a melting cup. “It’s not like you won’t ever feel the same way as before. To find someone you care about is like looking for the right flavor of ice cream. There are numerous choices, and all you have to do is grab a spoon and taste them till you find your flavor.” What wise stated was even more incomprehensible to him than the girl from whom he ran away, never to be seen again. He went his way home.
Thirty years later……
“Don’t you want to go out and play?” said he to his son. “Dad, I was wondering how you and mom met for the first time” said his son rather timidly. “Son, all I did was grabbing a spoon” said his father looking at the mother and for a moment he felt lost in her hazel eyes.

*Disclaimer*
For the cynical kind who hates the rosy tinted ending, I do believe in happy endings, so go ahead sue me. The credit for the metaphorical spoon goes to Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S, watch the pilot episode for further information. The title of the story is the name of an episode from LOST. Yeah i know what a thief I am. For now I bid thee a fateful farewell…..but please leave thy valuable comments.

Reasons i am not looking for...

I am in the most populated city of the second most populated country, living in my parents house and of 21 years of age. These words dont even justify my pent up emotions of isolation. The only place in Kolkata where i observe upon it without a jaundiced view is from the windy terrace spot of my habitat...cant even bring myself to call it home. I stare at mirrors on the wall and gaze upon a stranger.... long since abandoned by his teenagehood,feeling the weight of eons press down upon me but apparently not yet enough to attain a label of being called mature. I listen to my parents arguing about the right amount of salt to be added in todays dinner, them not ever realising the full impact of how lucky they are to have each other for the past 25 years now. For me to ever achieve that with a tortoise, let alone a human being, would be worth winning a Nobel prize. We surround ourselves with the people we care about and build an intricate web of life just to sustain ourselves from the little juicy tidbits...those moments of optimism caught in it. Makes me feel no more special than a spider. But any arachnid is right now living a more practically meaningful life than yours truly. What defines a persons state of happiness...?...more money? ...better grades?.... a plum job?...proud parents?...a beautiful and caring spouse?... more influence and power?....yet there are countless number of people who go to sleep more happily and peacefully in their beds even after lacking all of the above paramters of being so. And that is exactly what entirely transcends the entire concept of "happyness" for me. Notice the change in its spelling ...there is no "i" in happyness. You can always find a little piece of it hidden away like a nugget of gold in the most obscure and mundane place. It can be a view of a stormy evening from a verandah with the people who you care, it can be the laughter of a loved one tinkling through the air like a pleasant brook, it can be the cooing voice of a mother doting over its baby....its not just about you anymore. Happyness belongs to our universe not to a particular individual.